Pulp Nightmare | Tales of The Unaccountable | Comedy | Weird | Movie Commentaries

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we STILL haven't learned to be careful what we wish for, and for our infernal transgressions, we're thrown into the slammer! Wait, who's our cellmate? THE DJINN!? Wow, this is awkward. Guess they finally got your ass for tax evasion. But, hey, as long as we have this ancient demonic genie here, we might as well watch his simultaneously delightful yet disappointing sequel, WISHMASTER 2: EVIL NEVER DIES! Come for all the B-Horror splendor, but stay to watch a movie monster briefly run a Russian crime syndicate. Avoid any and all ironic wish granting by downloading the commentary now! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the pen truly is mightier than the sword! Mostly due to a Satan infestation. Once again, on this holiday of torment and MURDER, we take in the questionable franchising of an already existing franchise, by visiting everyone's favorite antique shop that has no right being in business. The tradition bleeds on, as we watch episode two of FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES (AKA Friday's Curse)! Watch out for sneaky monks by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we learn to be careful what we wish for. What did we wish for, you may ask? Pizza. Mostly pizza. But the demonic Djinn did us dirty by instead turning US into pizza, aaaaaaaaah. So, we ate ourselves to DEATH. And that was a long winded way to a Spaceballs reference in this description for a WISHMASTER commentary. You're welcome. But anyway, rub that lamp and get ready for a who's who of horror actor cameos, because we're taking in this lost 90s gem! Wish to download the commentary? Click here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, our usual machete laden tradition is eschewed temporarily into an excursion into some franchise expansion! Gone are horny teens, buckets of blood, and an undead momma's boy wearing a hockey mask. Instead, we got ourselves... an antique shop! Oh, yes, may GOD have mercy on all your souls, as we check out the haunted items found in the first episode of the 80s In Name Only cash-in (underrated as it may be), FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES! Inherit your own demonic antique shop by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this special-ish edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been seven installments since the night HE came home... and the eighth is easily the one night HE would rather forget, along with the rest of us. While everyone's entitled to one good scare, the particular horror of sitting through this movie takes things a step too far with Mike, MB, and Hero as they fire up their 2002-era webcams to watch, witness, and text the slow message of death at a beloved horror icon in the saddest possible end of a long-running series. Yell trick or treat at some mothers, because we're subjecting ourselves to HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION. Avoid the swift roundhouse kick of a 90's rapper by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys return to the beginning. You see, there's all the usual suspects: sack heads, hockey masks, Mrs. Voorhees', copious amounts of machete action, and... America Olivo's boobs? Waitaminute, that's different! Appreciated, but different. It's remake time, folks! So, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THIS JASON AIN'T SCREWING AROUND. But more importantly, settle on down to the camp fire of an operating Crystal Lake, and for god sake help out that Winchester brother - he needs places to hang his fliers! - all by joining us this ultra special October Variant of the unlucky holiday, as we wind down our blood thirsty tradition with the Marcus Nispel directed reboot merely titled: FRIDAY THE 13TH. Uncover the hidden gold within Jason's various tunnels by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we're not the vindicators, or the victimizers, or the vaporizers, or the vibrators, we're the... COMMENTATORS! So, slip on your slinky suits of necro-goo, Pulpers, and wrap that not at all real cape around you, because Martin Sheen sent us to HELL, and we're here to return the favor by watching what I dub thee a seminal work of 90s superhero action romp sleaze -- SPAWN! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie! See us at Wanda's by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys unfreeze themselves in the far flung spaced out future of 2002 -- which looks suspiciously like the late 90s aesthetically, but neither here nor there. In this STRANGE future time, we know not what terrifying cheapness awaits us around the same corner being re-used over and over! But the most alarming aspect of this time-space, is that all the calendars are stuck on one single solitary date... FRIDAY THE 13TH. And that means only one thing: even in the future we can't escape podcasting obligations! Without any 80s sexyness to save us, surrounded by annoying early 2000s character types featuring the cast of Andromeda, AND the faint pounding vocals of "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" inching ever closer... we have no choice but to let the NANO MACHINES turn us Uber! So, we can record this UBERCOMMENTARY for JASON X. It's okay, guys, he just wants his machete back. Re-enter the atmosphere and die HISTORIC like Jason, by downloading the commentary here. Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it 'twas the night before Pulpmas, and all Mike could think was how David Cronenberg's The Fly nearly drove him to drink! It's that special time of year again, as the boys audibly roast chestnuts on an open fire and talk about the true spirit of the season: discussing both the heartwarming and horrific Christmas gifts of the past while watching the 1983 classic A CHRISTMAS STORY. Does a legless Beast still have genitalia? How did Spider-Man save one future host's Christmas while damning another? When does one idle joke manage to create the single greatest alternate universe of all time? And will Mike, MB, or James ever actually talk about the movie they're watching? Santa knows, but he's not telling. Not while it's still Nuclear Winter. Shoot your eye out as much as you'd like by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been 20 years since the night HE came home (and I'm pretty sure since our first commentary). But the twilight of Samhain is once again falling, and a new player has entered the game that conjures the EVIL back from it's slumber: Josh Hartnett. We're disappointed that Michael didn't just want LL Cool J's autograph, as well. Our Shatner faces slide back on (this time CGI!), and our kitchen knives sit at the ready, because it's mano-a-mano versus a ticked off Jamie Lee Curtis, as we continue the tradition with HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER. Secretly get retconned out of having your head chopped off by downloading the commentary here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we are IN the Deadlights now! 30 years later, the boys of Pulp Nightmare are returning to their childhood town to finish what they started when they were but children of the 90s! Carrying a bucket of battery acid and a belief in the tooth fairy (and some trusty anti-clown gear they had laying around), they head into the caverns of Maine with only one purpose... record the longest commentary of their lives. Oh, and you're coming with us! So, arm yourselves with imagination slingshots, avoid Belch wielding greasers, and yell "HI-HO SILVER, AWAY!" Because we are ALL floating tonight, baby! We're FINALLY watching the TV movie event of the 90s... STEPHEN KING'S... IT. It's like it was always meant to be a Pulp Commentary. You'll be wise, very wise indeed, by downloading IT right here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys celebrate the entirely too talked about death of Jason Voorhees by taking a nice trip down to ole' Camp Crystal Lake for some nice wholesome skinny-dipping fun. But just when they thought it was safe to go back in the pussy... they hear the sound they've been dreading all this time. The oncoming footsteps of a black man! Wait, that came out wrong. It's a body-hopping adventure of underwhelming proportions, as this Friday the 13th, the camp-crazy cast of Pulp Nightmare are made to sit down and bear witness to the most trying installment of the series yet - JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY. You know why this commentary's gonna stick with you? Because you're getting a taste of the Duke! And how about a taste of Jason's delicious heart too? Then download the commentary here to chow down! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

"Get in the car... or I'll tell 'em you're Jewish." - Nathan Lane to John Travolta The Juice is finally loose! But can that really be considered a spoiler? Regardless, it's curtain call for PULPWATCH 1994, as the boys of Pulp Nightmare bid goodbye to a television show that they're somewhat confused even existed - American Crime Story: The People V OJ Simpson. But is there a twist ending where history radically diverges, aliens descend from the skies and attack, and the only man who can lead humanity towards the fleeting hope of survival is A.C.? God, we wish. Instead, we're treated to a series of plot-lines wrapped up in the most puzzling of ways, the arrival of a surprise dog that appears for... reasons, and multiple - really, too many - proposed murders for Judge Lance Ito. But there are so many questions left! Whatever became of that Nazi medal? Was it sold on the black market? And what about that romance left danging between Marcia Clark and the black man she continually mistreated? And finally, is Robert Shapiro truly the Devil incarnate? Is he the sinister mastermind who killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, framing O.J. Simpson for a crime he did not in fact commit? Well, listen in, and maybe you'll be surprised. We sure weren't. Feel the sweet taste of freedom right along with OJ by downloading the episode here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

"PRESSURE?!" - Robert Shapiro The trial of the century mercifully, thankfully starts winding down as the boys of Pulp Nightmare are brought to their absolute limit of endurance in the penultimate installment of PULPWATCH 1994. Your honor, we'd like the Nazi to take the stand. What's that? He said something about Judge Ito's wife? Stop the damn trial! Oh wait, he's stepping down? Trial is back on! Wait, he's inexplicably back? We don't know anymore. But the important question remains: Will Travolta be able to keep his unrelenting fury over the possibility of riots in the streets in check? And why does Cochran seem to want to incite one? Wait, why was THAT the ending?! You know what, AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON, we don't know anymore. We just don't. The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys decide that they've had enough of civilization for one weekend and go off to the woods in celebration of the life of a dear friend who's no longer with us - that friend being Stephen King's sanity. But once they settle in, they discover that something's quite amiss; Worm eggs sit precariously across the ground, ready to be hatched, horrible, unconvincing CGI wildlife roams the countryside, the corpse of Lawrence Kasdan's dignity is slumped over a toilet, and... is something moving under there?! Oh yes. We're going there. Going to a world in which The Punisher, Agent 47, Brodie Bruce, Morgan Freeman's eyebrows, and that guy who really should be a bigger deal than he is, are terrorized by the unseen - the staggeringly incomprehensible. A world as viewed by a man on a hell of a lot of painkillers. We've got some work to do now, because this is the 2003 box office bomb known as DREAMCATCHER. We Duddits. Answer that ringing gun and save the world from Ellen Ripley by downloading the commentary now! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

"Next question!" - Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ Simpson You know, George, we've been thinking. Maybe it's time to do this PULPWATCH 1994 thing right. On a very special eighth installment of the ten-part series, FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON, the boys of Pulp Nightmare sub out a usual guest for a very special guest who gives them the inside track on what really happened behind the scenes of the show - granting us a rare interview, series star and recovering Hollywood actor, Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ Simpson! What secrets does Mr. Gooding Jr. As OJ Simpson spill exclusively for us, if any? How did he meet series creator and show-runner Ryan Murphy? What does he remember of working with John Singleton? Why is John Travolta the evilest man he's ever met? And whose skin is as "smooth as silk"? Also, we barely talk about the actual episode. You have to understand. He had to sign a lot of NDAs. Escape the murderous gloved claws of OJ by downloading the episode here! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

"Why you be half-steppin'?" Objection! Your honor, we'd like to call American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson to the stand. That's right, it's another edition of PULPWATCH 1994, and the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover that this episode may be the most factually inaccurate to date! From Marcia Clark's lust for a sexy black co-worker to the subsequent trial endangerment of the prosecution, to Robert Shapiro's ultimate moment of super-villainy and David Schwimmer's post-career breakdown that even the show doesn't show, it all culminates in the shocking - not to mention ridiculous - recreation of the fateful moment of the entire trial: that god damned glove. Will it fit? Must we acquit? Of course not, but the revisionist history going on makes us sad. Come on, Judge Ito, you can still make things right! You can still make it more of a circus! The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape! Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

In which the boys unexpectedly break from the norm and read aloud the tales of the unaccountable... of another! Following a headline making arrest of a certified crazy man, who we should remind you is one hundred percent certifiably crazy, Mike delves deep into the psyche of a conspiracy that spans even deeper than he himself initially thought - much to the horror of his awestruck co-hosts! It all began [REDACTED], on a summer [REDACTED] in the middle of [REDACTED], when a [REDACTED] got [REDACTED] by a group of [REDACTED] and their [REDACTED] in the middle of a [REDACTED]. But wait, there's more! The eyes of evil look upon us all, as we realize we are not alone. [REDACTED] exists! And there's proof of [REDACTED]! They hide beneath the surface of [REDACTED]! And President [REDACTED] knows about it, too! I know, it's insane to contemplate, but hear us out! Join us in a mind-melding [REDACTED] of pure unadulterated pleasure as [REDACTED] fondles your [REDACTED] for the purpose of [REDACTED], here on Pulp Nightmare - where the crazy come to conglomerate their ideas of [REDACTED]! We're sorry. He doesn't love you. #LizardTruth Download this [REDACTED] here, if you dare. Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PulpNightmare/ Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pulp-nightmare/id426879674 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=33510&refid=stpr

"'Cause I'm for real! Hear me? I'm The Juice!" Know what this is? This is The FX's tombstone, because we've already planned it's funeral. In yet another edition of outrage, madness, and inexplicable confusion, the boys of Pulp Nightmare engage the medium of television for the sixth installment PULPWATCH 1994, trying to decipher the incoherent messages of AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. And between a credit sequence that just won't appear, a love story that doesn't seem to be a love story, racism and sexism interwoven together in such a way that it's practically a new level of offensive, and the single most perplexing use of Seal's "Kiss From A Rose" ever attempted, the PN alumni sure as hell have their hands full. Why was there so much dancing? Why was the Nazi presented to look sane? What in God's name is Ryan Murphy doing with the camera? Is it drunk?! The answers will never come. They just won't. Escape the murderous gloved claws of OJ by downloading the episode here!

"JUDAS!" - Robert Shapiro We're not trying to be respectful about this podcast, we're trying to win! It's that time again, as an acclaimed director steps into the seat of FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. Listen in as the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover what happens as betrayal rocks the trial of the century from both sides and tensions flare up, sparking a surprise exit on behalf of historical inaccuracy, Johnnie Cochran's super villain plot to end all super villain plots, the most one-sided feud over whether or not a man can be able to sit on a bench, and the single most shocking - and hilarious - ending in television history. PULPWATCH 1994 continues on, but will the collective sanity of Mike, MB, and Hero remain intact? Only [Armless Tiger Man] knows! The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!